A child with separation anxiety disorder may have an unreasonable fear of school, and will do almost anything to stay home. Reluctance to go to sleep. Separation anxiety disorder can make children insomniacs, either because of the fear of being alone or due to nightmares about separation. Separation anxiety typically lasts two to three weeks and can pop up throughout infancy and toddlerhood, as well as later in childhood. For babies under two years, it's most common during the following ages: 6 to 7 months: Around this time, and sometimes earlier, many infants gain a sense of object permanence. The three phases are protest, despair, and detachment. The protest phase begins immediately upon separation, and lasts up to weeks on end. It is indicated by outward signs of distress such as crying, tantrum behavior, and searching for the return of the parent. Leave your child with a caregiver for brief periods and short distances at first. As your child gets used to separation, you can gradually leave for longer and travel further.
Schedule separations after naps or feedings. Babies are more susceptible to separation anxiety when they’re tired or hungry.
Develop a quick “goodbye” ritual. Rituals are reassuring and can be as simple as a special wave through the window or a goodbye kiss. Keep things quick, though, so you can:
Leave without fanfare. Tell your child you are leaving and that you will return, then go—don’t stall or make it a bigger deal than it is.
Follow through on promises. For your child to develop the confidence that they can handle separation, it’s import you return at the time you promised.
Keep familiar surroundings when possible and make new surroundings familiar. Have the sitter come to your house. When your child is away from home, encourage them to bring a familiar object.
Have a consistent primary caregiver. If you hire a caregiver, try to keep them on the job long term to avoid inconsistency in your child’s life.
Minimize scary television. Your child is less likely to be fearful if the shows you watch are not frightening.
Try not to give in. Reassure your child that they will be just fine—setting consistent limits will help your child’s adjustment to separation.
