It's a master of ceremonies like a host or entertainer . I hope I answered your question .
it does not do it's job very well, because you should be able to see what time it is in the middle of the night.
This is probably a joke but I'll answer anyway
By 'cheeks' they mean buttocks so by "making them clap" is referring to them being so big/thick that they clap or make noise when you walk or move around or something.
I probably got played lol but whatever
