Okay, here’s what I’ll do for you. I’ll answer your questions in a few words, and I want you to make sure the answers are longer than the ones I give you. 1) This paragraph does not flow at all. 2) The rhythm is very choppy. 3) The most important ideas are when she moves to the West Coast because it gives more detail on her life. The least important is her childhood and how she is brought up because it hardly talks about it. 4) The ideas aren’t well connected because it just states facts and doesn’t expand on them. 5) The relationship is basically what ever happened next in her life, no detail. 6) I would add more detail and make the sentences less choppy. This should help you rewrite the paragraph.
Answer:
They agreed to a bet: if the lawyer could spend fifteen years in total isolation, the banker would pay him two million rubles. The lawyer would have no direct contact with any other person, but could write notes to communicate with the outside world and receive whatever comforts he desired.
