Try to be more descriptive. Change "deeper and deeper" to "The sun began to slowly sink further into the horizon as the night creeping"
Explanation:
I think that the overall idea of the description is good but I just feel like, maybe it could be worse more where you get a better sense of how it might look. kind of giving it that fancy but also story like touch to it to make it seem both real but that of a description coming from a detailed memory.
A black hole is a place where the laws of physics as we know them break down. Einstein taught us that gravity warps space itself, causing it to curve. So given a dense enough object, space-time can become so warped that it twists in on itself, burrowing a hole through the very fabric of reality.
so all you have to do for the first one is write about someone that happened to you in the past or if you are speaking 3rd person/2nd/person/1st person write about it like that. and for the second one just write tiny affirmations or whatever
