Question

It's a kinda long poem and needs some work...

Answer 1

Dam, goldie. When did you write this? Kinda dark for you, lol. Where did my innocent lil goldie go?

Complete honesty: Do.pe as heII. You know me, I love this kind of dark stuff. But, it does need some work on the flow. I think the commas throw things off and maybe add a tiny bit more rhyming. I noticed some lines rhymed and others didn't. Other than that it's friggen awesome. Keep the poetry coming, Goldie. It's good.