In general you want to be a bit more concise in forming a thesis statement. Usually you should shoot for between 1 and 2 sentences summarizing your argument in a concise way so that it is easily understandable to the reader. I would take what you have written and look for your main argument and try and put that in 1 to 2 sentences.
Answer:
they use tsotsi taal and its a mixure of english and afrikaans
Explanation:
tsotsi taal is the way of speaking or language used in the townships
I wrote a short story that took up an entire summer day...
Still I'm not sure that is the answer you are looking for so please explain better if I'm not answering correctly.
(/◕ヮ◕)/
-Miri