Okay. So. First of all, rlly nice story =D I'm glad you got what you wanted. Now, to the point.. at first, I started to list every point where i thought you can change, but to be honest, and i mean no offense when i say this, but i think itll take me a very long time and a printed out version to mark it up so i think ill jjust give u a couple of tips. I hope they help.
- you dont exactly have any main idea going... only after reading the entire thing did i understand what "the battle" was and why you were anxious to get the results. you should clarify in the beginning what it is youre talking abt. a sentence like " Sixth grade had just started, and already I had begun to lose focus. My brain seemed to constantly drift towards other, more important things; like the upcoming custody battle between my parents over my brother and I."
-dont use the same word over and over again. try not to use it more than twice in one paragraph, it becomes repetitive, and a little annoying to read. An example: '<span>That battle was cemented in my head, all I could do was think about that battle.', I would change the second "battle" to "it"... you can do the same to other sentences, just look up synonyms and replce them, itll mean the same thing.
- Also, words like "socializing" might be too strong a word to use.... you can put 'talking' lol... its important to remember that you dont always have to use big words, and especially when youre writing a personal narrative, you should stick to ones you use on a day to day basis... save the big ones for formal essays :)
- the tenses seem to change throughout the story.... you start out correctly. in the past tense, and then u use a verb in the future tense, such as "will happen"
- don't add details you dont need or dont support the main idea... like the part about forgetting your brother. its just a side detail. or u can change how u introduce that detail. instead of the two or three sentences about forgetting him, u can just write " I was so anxious and excited to find out what the results were that i forgot to pick up my younger brother on my way back home from school, and ended up having to go all the way back to get him, prolonging the suspense."
If you want more specific details on where to change exactly what, i suggest you go to someone in person, they might be able to help you more. Best of luck! </span>
Answer:
u
Explanation:
kssje Chi ewgsusienejejeue
With no money in his pocket, Santiago earns something to eat by helping a candy seller set up his market stall. Afterward, he realizes he was able to communicate perfectly with the candy maker even though the man spoke only in Arabic. Santiago thinks there must be a universal language that does not depend on words. He remembers how he had communicated wordlessly with his sheep and thinks, "Now it's happening with people."
Www.gradesaver.com/to-kill-a-mockingbird/q-and-a/explain-scouts-growing-up-260005
The answer is between B and D.
The 300 villages in the Lottery are blindly obedient to a tradition that is years and years old. Some things have been dropped and others added and nobody quite knows why.
The beginning of June 28 is just as serene. There are all sorts of interpretations, but nothing hides Jackson's anger about blind tradition that would even sacrifice young children and accept it as being a "good sport."
Tilly is the only one who is justifiably upset. The stones are going to be about her and they will kill her. Being stoned in the Bible was a slow painful process. You weren't killed by being hit. You died by suffocation because the weight of the stones eventually was greater than what the lungs could push up and let down so you could continue breathing.
This stoning is less biological and more what you think stoning should accomplish -- death by loss of blood. It is a horrible death. Everyone seems to take it for granted -- everyone but Tilly who had to endure it.
If you were writing an essay, you could easily defend A, B and D. My choice is D, but I wouldn't discount B at all.
