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vladimir2022 [97]
3 years ago
7

Please, can someone make corrections to my short story I suck at punctuation and word choice and all of that I will make this a

lot of points and mark you branliest? Also, I'm not done with the story but I will finish it and I only need this part to be corrected.
The Chicken And his Sneakers

once upon a time, there was a chicken named Roy and he had the coolest sneakers to exist well at least to him. Roy who is only 9 thinks his sneakers give him powers he says the blue color on the shoes give him super speed and the orange gives him super jump. Roy has a friend named Jasper and well Jasper is in disbelief of the sneakers because Roy won't let him try them on and take them for a ride. Roy has had these sneakers for about 2 years and they're still in factory new condition no one knows what he does with them but they're quite clean. One day Roy is in his living room watching chicken patrol minding his own business when he gets a call on his home phone from his mother Amanda. Roy picks up the phone as fast as he can “What are you doing” says, Amanda Roy instantly replies with “TV and only TV” Amanda then says “get your but outside now or else your grounded” Roy In a poor voice says “OK MOM”. Roy scurries off to go find his kicks he looks and looks but can't seem to find them they were not in the same place as he left them. Roy then heard laughing outside and he saw his friend Jasper and his sister Casity running about on the streets Roy rushes outside yelling “WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SNEAKERS” Jasper replies in a shaken voice saying “You would not let me try them so I snuck in when you were sleeping and took them before you woke up” “WHAT” yelled Roy “SLEEPING”. Jaspers sister had left already running back inside so Jasper looked around and took off running the shoes started flaring up like a rocket and took off going at 50 miles per hour. While he was running in his neighborhood he realized that he lives in a culdesac and there were only two options for Jasper it was either run at Roy or try and jump the fence. Jasper thinking as hard as he can smoke coming out of his head “he is running so freaking fast” said Roy they were about 50 yards way inching closer and closer until the moment Jasper is now 5 yards away and he needs to jump with all his might he puts all of his thrust into it and jumps a poor 2 feet off the ground and Roy looked up and all he saw was jaspers little face smack against the wood fence fwaaapp the sound echoed on teeth flying everywhere.
English
1 answer:
scoundrel [369]3 years ago
4 0

((I'll help you out as best as I can, anywhooo...

The Chicken and his Sneakers

Once upon a time, there was a chicken named Roy, he had the coolest sneakers to exist well at least to him. Roy, who is 9 years old, thinks his sneakers give him powers. He says the blue color on the shoes give him 'super speed', the orange gives him 'super jump'. Roy has a friend named Jasper, Jasper is in disbelief of the sneakers because Roy won't let him try them on and take them for a ride. Roy had these sneakers for 2 years and they're still in factory new condition, no one knows what he does with them but they're quite clean. One day, Roy is in his living room watching chicken patrol, minding his own business, when he gets a call on his home phone from his mother, Amanda. Roy picks up the phone as fast as he can “What are you doing?” says, Amanda. Roy instantly replies with “T.V and only T.V.” . Amanda then says “Get your but outside now or else your grounded.”. Roy, In a poor voice, says “OK MOM." Roy scurries off to go find his kicks he looks and looks but can't seem to find them, they were not in the same place as he left them. Roy then heard laughing outside and he saw his friend Jasper and his sister, Casity. Running about on the streets Roy rushes outside yelling “WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SNEAKERS?!” Jasper replies in a shaken voice saying, “You would not let me try them so I snuck in when you were sleeping and took them before you woke up.” “WHAT?!” yelled Roy “SLEEPING?!” Jasper's sister had left already running back inside. Jasper looked around and took off running, the shoes started flaring up like a rocket and took off going 50 miles per hour. While he was running in his neighborhood he realized that he lives in a culdesac and there were only two options for Jasper, it was either run at Roy or try and jump the fence. Jasper thinking as hard, 'as he can see smoke coming out of his head'. “He's running so freaking fast.” said Roy, they were about 50 yards way, inching closer and closer until the moment Jasper is now 5 yards away and he needs to jump with all his might, he puts all of his thrust into it and jumps a poor 2 feet off the ground and Roy looked up and all he saw was Jasper's face smack against the wood fence, the sound from the conflict between both him and the fence, collided, echoed on, teeth flying everywhere.

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