Can you post the story if you have it
Very interesting! Here's an idea. Since you have only about 200 words right now and 400 words left, try adding a bit more to the beginning of the story - it will give more of a thrill, instead of jumping right into strange behavior. A little trick to add in more words is to use even MORE descriptive language - But you've done well already.
You can use inspiration from short thriller stories online or from a library- im sure you'll be able to find something. also think about the ending - will it be a good ending, or a bad ending? If you have, i'm sure you'll do great.
This probably isnt much help, sorry :)
As my dog ran through the house he ran into the couch.
my orange cat swiped at a dog that barked at her.
furthermore, however, likewise and nevertheless are adverbial conjunction. which means when a adverbial conjunction is connect with 2 independent clauses it is followed by a comma
sorry it this doesn't help
