I really enjoyed your writing and I like how you have set this story up!! The story is extremely intriguing and I almost didn't want to stop reading. I love your descriptive language and it makes the story feel alive. The scenarios feel real and its easy to put yourself in the place of Winter (who is an interesting character) and feel sorry for her and her situation. The one thing I think that could help this even more is maybe some even more descriptive words when describing her running away from Cain (she heard every leaf crunch under her feet and cringed at the thought of him hearing her, she felt the cold breeze and stiff air more than ever alone in that tree and she sat in the short amount of safety that was given to her in that moment, she heard Cains manic laugh echo through the forest, ect.). I feel as though this could make that scene even more better than it already is!! :)

I love this idea and your creativity! Keep writing, this will be amazing!!

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2 years ago

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