Answer:
Here's what I would have written:
Explanation:
It’s warm Friday Night, July 15, 2016. It was that time of year again, when a new series was created on Netflix. It was called Stranger Things. It would mix horror, drama, and suspense together. My friends had told me a lot about it. Trying with such force to convince me, after a few day, I caved.
The show gave me an unsurprising thrill. After watching 3 episodes I decided I needed a break. I turned to sleep. But even then me brain wouldn't let me stop thinking about it. It found a way into my dreams not long after....and would not leave.
After waking, my eyes had been surprised with a new environment. I slowly headed around the house only to be startled by a bloodcurdling scream. I swiftly went to see what could be happening, terrible things raced though my head. Dungeons and Dragons, I peered at the familiar game board. I couldn't be seen. This wasn't my house and I knew it. I tip-toed back to the room that I was originally in. I quickly undressed and changed into foreign clothes that were in the room. Later, when everyone was sleeping, I crawled slowly to the door. I opened it and ran as fast as I could. When it was morning, I went to Hawkins High School and attended the same classes that the group was. After the announcement over the PA of my new arrival, I met up with the group. I told them that I was new here. They wanted to be friends with me and asked me to play Dungeons and Dragons next week.
The following came and the members came to the door of the leader’s house. The leader came and said, “I’ve found another person and I think that you guys are going to like her.“ I saw that inside the basement was a girl sitting on the couch, She had no hair like a baby that was just born. She picked up a piece on the board game and knocked off all the pieces off the board except the one she was holding. She flipped the board to the black side and put the piece on it. I noticed that there was one person missing from the group. I told the others that a person is missing from the group and they counted the members. The leader said, “Wait where is Will? Did anyone see him go home?” Everyone said no and continued. During one of the games, the leader saw a number on the girl’s wrist. It says, {#011}. I thought about it and I told them that her name might be Eleven. It was a conclusion that the girl’s name was Eleven or El for short. After the game, Everyone left but the leader, and that strange.
At school the next day, we went to school and worked through the schedule. But something unusual happened in the science room. A monster from, what I can only presume is from another dimension, appeared in the science room, my friends and I screamed loudly. The room starts flashing colors. We found out the monster was from the upside-down, we'd call it the Demogorgon. To our protection El, the strange girl, use some brain powers and destroyed it. But she also took herself away.
Before that day, Will Byers was but a laughing matter. The Dungeons and Dragons Board games would not be continued without him. Since that day, peace in Hawkins Indiana was to stay, but what the future held was unknown, along with me getting back to my world, the real world.
**When writing short fiction, or anything for that matter, always stay in the same tense - past, present, future.