Great story! If you're still continuing on the story, I suggest adding a falling action for the conflict.
What is the passage?
lol, Parentheses are generally used as an explanation or afterthought into a passage that is grammatically already complete without the stuff in the parentheses. In writing it is u usually marked with curved brackets.
Example: He finally answered (after taking five minutes to think) that he did not understand the question.
I hope that this helps....
Annie's past tells us that she was a little bit like Helen.
The way Annie deals with Helen shows us that Annie had a lot of patience.
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