I love going to the zoo with my dad. Many of the animals are cool and we like looking at animals especially lions. <u>because</u> (lions are big and strong and strong animals are scary) (Change : They are tough and ferocious, which makes them scary)<u> </u><u>in real life</u> but when they are in a cage it isn't so bad. <u>but</u> I would never want to be put in a cage because I would get sad. <u>so</u> (I don't know if the animals are happy or sad but) (change : Uncertain if the animals will feel happy or sad themselves) my dad (says)(change : said) that the animals at the zoo are very well taken care of and i shouldn't worry about them.
Explanation:
I added brackets to the parts where i changed the sentenced, underlined the parts I would cross out and bold the periods.
Where it says change : don't add that in the sentence.
