Some positive affects music can give to you is it can make you happy or persistent in something, but music can also be distracting sometimes and it could also make you sad.
sorry if i did this completely wrong
Answer: Your essay sounds pretty great! The only thing that I would change is that in essays such as these evidence to support your claim should come after your claim. For example you might start your third paragraph with something like " Another reason I think I would be suitable for this position is that I can give current relevant advice," and then add in your supporting claim of why you can give relevant advice. This simply just makes your claims sound stronger and your more likely to get a higher grade but overall a great essay!
Hope this helps!
Explanation:
I’m not an artist at all but yeah lolz- it was fun
