Awesomeeeee also what school lol
For the first red, you don't need an article before "relationship".
When you're saying "type of [word]", do not put any article before that word.
Example: "a type of device"
Not too sure about the "your back" parts. It could be your teacher does not like repition.
Also not too sure about "did". He probably wanted you to use the word "felt" instead of "did feel"
The first word of the last paragraph should be "in" not "at".
The red commas definitely do not need to be there.
Don't know why he marked "time to" and "to" red.
Photo to see please....................
I believe the answer is D. The horrid brute shot stabbing flames from his blackened fingertips.
By carefully organizing your thoughts. And make your writing organized.