Okay, here:
<u>Why do the lock Gas Station restrooms? Are they afraid someones gonna clean them?</u>
A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat.”
“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie.
“I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”
Why do we tell actors "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Control Freak.
Con…
OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business!
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
Why did the worm skip school?
He was playing hooky
Have you played the updated kids' game? I Spy With My Little Eye . . . Phone.
