Answer:
Dear Mr. Abbey,
After reading your essay, I’ve stumbled upon a few unconvincing parts. I write this letter in hopes to help improve your writing. You have stated in your paper that the construction of roads has lessened the quality of these landmarks. Throughout studying your work, I’ve come to a few suggestions you should consider.
To start things off, in the article you claimed that to be able to enjoy the canyon, you must be willing to hike there. In doing this, you compared people who have disabilities with being lazy. The exact term you gave them was “American slobs”. People can’t help being disabled ━ according to cdc.gov, “61 million adults in the United States live with a disability (1 in 4). 13.7% have serious difficulty walking or climbing stairs''. You throwing these people off for not being able to walk this distance will only make them angry rather than convince them to agree with you. Turning the topic around, the roads are helpful to people who can’t walk the full distance. With these roads, this branches out to a new group of people, exposing them to a new area they would have never seen without this transportation.
With all this said, you can easily fix this. For example, instead of bringing the group that contains about 30% of the adult US population down; change your wording so you make it obvious that you’re on their side. Delete the harsh terms and rephrase it all. The canyons mean a great deal to you, the more people you have on your side, the more power you hold.
In conclusion, this small change will bring nothing but positivity your way. Not only this, you’d get more people to visit the canyon. Your passion is admirable, and in removing the negativity towards this group of people, more will agree. I thank you for your time in reading this letter, and I hope you consider my recommendation.
Sincerely,
{insert name}
