People ( especially new parents.) instead of being consistent they only use punishment for things that originally they didn't pay attention to.
They could also use abusive words while punishing their child which is damaging and defeats the purpose of Discipline. Discipline isn't punishment. It's a word meaning To teach. Punishment just goes along with discipline if the child doesn't respond to the teaching.
DO NOT spank at the first offence the child commits. First, make sure they know what they did was wrong, second initiate a discussion on how it made you feel and what you expected of them. Forgive the first offence. Second offence, talk about how you told them last time and if they understood. Mild punishment ( time out, no TV whichever you wish.)
Third offence. Spanking. Ask them if they know what they did was wrong, find out and then deliver the punishment in a calm manner, not out of anger.
And don't say anything to them afterwards, leave them to have their cry and then come back after a bit and accept their apology and tell them you love them and that you want them to be happy and ask them if they're happy when they're good and obey you. They will see they can talk to you and that you're not unreasonable and that the punishments were not unexpected or out of anger.
99% of spankings are used because the parents are angry or because they don't know of any other solutions. I've seen good kids raised with spankings, and bad kids raised with spankings. Spankings is a Tool, the one using the tool is the one at fault for how they do it.
