Answer:
1. I suggest ending the "A time l got a great Victory was in Florida" Ending the sentence and starting a new one. Any number below ten should be written out. (Three not 3) Comma after so. And add apostrophe. (So, when we advanced to the championship it wasn't really easy.) Last sentence needs to be redefined. Does not make sense to say "we scored ended"?
2. Add spaces. (Obviously) How do you quietly storm out of a room? The adjectives do not make sense. He started to own? I suggest finding a better word.
3. Again, anything under ten needs to be written out. Confused by what this sentence means, "We had been going to a store to get some clothes in Greenbelt, and on the Beltway." Instead of 1 week and a half say a week and a half. I suggest saying the arm I broke, instead of that arm. Very good otherwise!!
4. I suggest cutting out everything that said you could not think of a triumph. It just confused the reader. The punctuation is also bad. Add more commas and get rid of the run-on sentences.
