The sentence that had correct sentence structure is
Before we were able to get financing we had to have the house appraised by independent appraiser
The sentences that contain language inappropriate for a formal email are I just know I'd be an awesome fit for the role. I believe that I am considerate, popular and hard working. Of the the other members in the team, I have more experience than the rest of that lot put together.
In these words, Carla writes in a way that makes it appear as though she is conceited and acting very proud of herself. When conducting business with a new associate or executive, making a formal inquiry, or communicating about a job, a formal email is utilised. While writing a Formal email we should be very much considerate about the language we use and we should be polite while talking about others.
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It's often futile to try to convince people that they should adopt a particular political position, but if you try, make sure to appeal to logic. Try to eliminate as much emotion from your argument as possible.