Hello!
I don't find the paragraph to be too wordy at all. I don't understand the entire context of the paragraph, only because I don't know the topic that it is written on. Despite this, I was still able to follow the meaning of the paragraph.
Something that I did notice is that you have one run-on sentence in your paragraph. You wrote "The only thing they solved was why Hope was in that picture, she photobombed a family picture, they gave her the printed version because they deleted the original and didn't want her in it, she cut the family out and wrote on the back, 'Don't go to the subway.'"
Instead, you could reword it into multiple different sentences to make the idea complete. I would recommend you turn this section into: "The only thing they solved was why Hope was in that picture. She photobombed a family picture and they gave her the printed version because they deleted the original one and didn't want her in it. She cut the family out and wrote on the back, 'Don't go to the subway.'"
I hope this helps you! Have a lovely day!
- Mal
Answer:
The way characters are described
The situations in which the characters interact
Dialogue between characters
Conflicts within and between characters
Explanation:
Characters are first developed by how they are described. They are not going to throw a character with no description into a book. They will say, a skinny, lanky kid named George was frighted by the dark. This character is fearful of the dark and he may not be that strong for a skinny, lanky kid. Situations where they interact are important because of how they react and respond to another person. For example, Samantha liked Steven so she acted shyly, but confident around him. When she interacts with Steven, it shows that she is not scared or choked up, but confident and shy with him. Dialogue is important because of what they say and how they say it. For example, I asked Duke a question and he snarled at me, "figure it out yourself." This shows that Duke is not the best to talk to at the moment, so he must be easily agitated. Conflicts are important because it shows how they were before, during, and how they became after. It shows the before and after of their character, for example, George was afraid of the dark, but then as he got a flashlight, he was able to use it if he thought something was there. After using it numerous times, he realized nothing was there and he did not need it anymore. You him when he was scared, helped with, and then not scared.
Answer:
Most of the animals do not like Moses because he never helps with work and tells wild stories. The pigs especially don't like him because many of the other animals believe in Sugarcandy Mountain and ''the pigs had to argue very hard to persuade them that there was no such place.
Explanation:
Answer:
He uses terminology to communicate complex concepts.
