I need help with my essay and if I'm missing anything in the essay that the rubric requires me to have can you guys suggest/add
on to it? I need to highlight/add dictions in one thing I know I need.
My school’s memorable experience
The first day of school, the strangest day of my life. I was so nervous I felt like a shaky leaf on a tree. I started at a new school in a new state, I was an outsider compared to everyone who had known each other for years. I walk into the first block a few minutes late, and everyone turns and looks, I find a seat next to a guy. I was nervous. Everyone already had their cliques and all I had to do was text my old friends back in New York but it felt like they moved on since they took a while to text me back and it felt like I didn't even bother, so I felt alone.
The guy I sat next to (Vishal) could almost sense my nervousness and made small talk with me. Just the basic things to get to know someone without actually getting to know them. “Soo, where are you from?.” my head was spinning because that was a difficult question to answer, I’ve moved around 5 times. So I just go with Queens, New York. For me moving around so much you think I'd be good with making friends, but in reality, I’m not that good at it. But we instantly got along and we exchanged our information and we started texting and we started playing video games after school. one day I went out and got a bike and I called Vishal and I found he had a bike too and we went biking almost every day and I used to invite people occasionally but it used to always be me and him. Having him with me every day to push me is one reason I lost 30 pounds in two months, which inspired me to keep going to this day.
My school’s memorable experience
The first day of school, the strangest day of my life. I was so nervous I felt like a shaky leaf on a tree. I started at a new school in a new state, I was an outsider compared to everyone who had known each other for years. I walk into the first block a few minutes late, and everyone turns and looks, I find a seat next to a guy. I was nervous. Everyone already had their cliques and all I had to do was text my old friends back in New York but it felt like they moved on since they took a while to text me back and it felt like I didn't even bother, so I felt alone.
The guy I sat next to (Vishal) could almost sense my nervousness and made small talk with me. Just the basic things to get to know someone without actually getting to know them. “Soo, where are you from?.” my head was spinning because that was a difficult question to answer, I’ve moved around 5 times. So I just go with Queens, New York. For me moving around so much you think I'd be good with making friends, but in reality, I’m not that good at it. But we instantly got along and we exchanged our information and we started texting and we started playing video games after school. one day I went out and got a bike and I called Vishal and I found he had a bike too and we went biking almost every day and I used to invite people occasionally but it used to always be me and him. Having him with me every day to push me is one reason I lost 30 pounds in two months, which inspired me to keep going to this day.
1 answer:
You might be interested in