Maybe you should kill off one of the characters to dig into the emotions of the other characters
B. Laws for safer working conditions are instituted.
The tense is all mixed up, but it looks like present is used most often, so "emitted" should be changed to "emits" and "pulled" should be changed to "pulls." I can't see the entire paragraph so just make sure that's consistent.
You don't need a comma in "running towards us with the fire extinguisher."
"Your mother and me" should be "Your mother and I." For reference try taking our "your mother" - it sounds pretty silly to say "me thinks" unless you're in the 1600s, right? And it should be "think" instead of "thinks."
III) Letter Conclusion<span>Practical MattersIndividual GreetingsPersonal Postscript<span>Doxology (or Prayer)</span></span>I) Letter Beginning<span>Sender(s): From whomRecipient(s): To whomFormulaic Greeting<span>Thanksgiving (or Blessing)
</span></span>II) Letter Body<span>Initial ExhortationThesis StatementTheological Discussions<span>Ethical Admonitions
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