Answer:
Cheesy adjectives and add many many unnecessarily fluffy descriptions
Explanation:
All you need to do is maybe replace "felt happy" with "her heart pounded with happiness"/"walked down the school hallway" to "excitedly waltzed down the hallway and into the basking rays of the radiant sun" or something of the such and some dialogue lines in between Denise and her mom.
I think you'll be fine for vivid descriptions and strong imagery as long as you elaborate on Denise's feelings a bit more. I'll give you some bits you can use: "a warm smile", "stomach fluttered", "'I'm proud of the results of my hard work!'"
Anything cheesy should be perfectly enough to satisfy your teacher.
(Apologies that I have not given you a paragraph to copy-paste. Hopefully these pointers can guide you a bit :))
You just want us to read it ? That's all or what?
Kate is trying to convince Keller that Annie will be good for Helen.
You forgot to include the excerpt you want made more objective. Also please include answers if you have them. Thanks.
America the Beautiful (B)
