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Gennadij [26K]
2 years ago
8

Ok, I finished my story. What do you guys think?

English
1 answer:
Ipatiy [6.2K]2 years ago
3 0

Answer:

If you want the honest feedback, I got you. I was really good, but I have a few suggestions to make it sound more "official":

  • Italicize sounds (i.e. change "Thud!" to <em>Thud. </em>in the second paragraph)
  • Make sure formatting is reasonable and consistent: "1 month later" is too big, the title should be bigger and "Beanbag" is incorrect  (it's bean bag)
  • Suspense would work very well in this story. I wouldn't reveal who the speaker is until the last paragraph or even last sentence. To do this, you can touch more on the emotional aspects of this story in the introduction and body paragraphs (no naming names, places, things, etc.) Make it abstract as you can to build up to the answers: Who is talking? What happened to them? Why do they feel this way? Things like that.
  • Stop being so repetitive with words like "demon" (maybe substitute for "little devil" or "menace")
  • I see the humorous aspect of this story, but I would make sure to not include too many spelling and grammar mistakes.

Sorry if my suggestions are a little too intense, but I can tell you are a good writer and can easily improve in these areas! Please let me know if this helps!

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Aliun [14]

Answer & Explanation:

Zoo animals are usually not the type that can be found everywhere, so working with these animals can help the veterinarians to get to know better how to treat and help the not domesticated animals. Also, this knowledge could highly contribute to the general understanding that veterinarians have of certain types of animals found in zoos.

6 0
3 years ago
The text below contains 3 verb tense errors. Correct them. You had certain rights and responsibilities if you’re a tenant in pri
katovenus [111]

Answer:

Corrections are in bold.

You have certain rights and responsibilities if you’re a tenant in privately rented property. You have the right to: Live in a property that’s safe and in a good state of repair. Have your deposit returned when the tenancy ends. Challenge excessively high charges. Know who your landlord is. Live in the property undisturbed. Be protected from unfair eviction and unfair rent. If you do not know who your landlord is, write to the person or company you pay rent to. Your landlord can be fined if they do not give you this information within 21 days.

Hope this helps!

:)

Explanation:

5 0
3 years ago
Use any 3 proverbs to write a short paragraph around a situation
Tema [17]

Answer:

One day a woman was roaming the streets when she saw the latest expensive shoes in the glass window of a shop. she entered looking all battered with dirty clothes. two employees awaited and one of them looked at her in disgust. the other worker seemed welcoming and whispered to the other employee not to JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER. when another customer walked in looking beautiful the rude employee attended to her at once and nudged her to buy the shoes. the woman said that she had no money and was just looking for a replacement for her own torn shoes. the dirty woman turned to buy the shoes. ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD and APEARANCES CAN BE DECEPTIVE

5 0
3 years ago
Monophonic music uses how many voices?
Varvara68 [4.7K]
The correct answer is 1.

Mono is a prefix that means single, or just one. Therefore, it uses only 1 vocal melody.
8 0
3 years ago
when tim stepped onto the deserted campsite, the campfire was a mere glow of coals. which descriptive phrase from the scenario b
Tems11 [23]

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What is a phrase?

The term phrase refers to the  paring of the group of the words. There are the involved the two or more words are the express, and they described the single idea or sentence.

The descriptive phrases are to explain the scenario, which was the movement of the enjoyment and fun. The action of the Tim's to describe the late night swim and to enjoy it with her friends. Tim's was the sea on the surface, with flashlight beams bouncing.

As a result, the phrase was the represents the scenario was flashlight beams bouncing. Therefore, option (c) is correct.

Learn more about the phrase, here:

brainly.com/question/16012068

#SPJ4

Your question is incomplete, but most probably the full question was.

A. Deserted campsite

B. A mere glow of coals  

C. Flashlight beams bouncing

D. Empty drink cans

7 0
1 year ago
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