Years ago..........................
Answer:
By just reading the beginning, I can tell it's pretty good! A few suggestions: Try not to use "also" in the beginning of a sentence. I feel like it sounds a bit unprofessional. This sort of goes for "this also". One last thing, when putting in the name of an article for example, make sure to put quotes. I would also recommend to state where you cited textual evidence, not really for articles, but just for the future. Besides that, looking good!
I know it's pretty late but I thought I'd still respond
