Okay. So. First of all, rlly nice story =D I'm glad you got what you wanted. Now, to the point.. at first, I started to list every point where i thought you can change, but to be honest, and i mean no offense when i say this, but i think itll take me a very long time and a printed out version to mark it up so i think ill jjust give u a couple of tips. I hope they help.
- you dont exactly have any main idea going... only after reading the entire thing did i understand what "the battle" was and why you were anxious to get the results. you should clarify in the beginning what it is youre talking abt. a sentence like " Sixth grade had just started, and already I had begun to lose focus. My brain seemed to constantly drift towards other, more important things; like the upcoming custody battle between my parents over my brother and I."
-dont use the same word over and over again. try not to use it more than twice in one paragraph, it becomes repetitive, and a little annoying to read. An example: '<span>That battle was cemented in my head, all I could do was think about that battle.', I would change the second "battle" to "it"... you can do the same to other sentences, just look up synonyms and replce them, itll mean the same thing.
- Also, words like "socializing" might be too strong a word to use.... you can put 'talking' lol... its important to remember that you dont always have to use big words, and especially when youre writing a personal narrative, you should stick to ones you use on a day to day basis... save the big ones for formal essays :)
- the tenses seem to change throughout the story.... you start out correctly. in the past tense, and then u use a verb in the future tense, such as "will happen"
- don't add details you dont need or dont support the main idea... like the part about forgetting your brother. its just a side detail. or u can change how u introduce that detail. instead of the two or three sentences about forgetting him, u can just write " I was so anxious and excited to find out what the results were that i forgot to pick up my younger brother on my way back home from school, and ended up having to go all the way back to get him, prolonging the suspense."
If you want more specific details on where to change exactly what, i suggest you go to someone in person, they might be able to help you more. Best of luck! </span>
Answer:
Explanation:
Being a hero means to be a leader. To be a leader you have to have strength, courage, and commitment. Sometimes factors such as peer pressure and the thinking you need to be something or someone else enables people to try and be a leader or hero
2 and 4 i assume would be the correct answer
<span>1. </span>
C. Gathering textual evidence helps
the reader discover the main idea.
<span>When
trying to discover the main idea within a text, it is important to look for
clues. Clues will be contained within
the text that hint at the main idea being discussed, and this clues within the
text are known as textual evidence and can range from something as simple as a
symbol (symbolism) to something as complex as dialog and allegory.</span>
<span>2. </span>B. Colon
<span>The
punctuation used following a salutation can be informal or formal (there really
is no in between). For informal
communications, you would use a comma, and for formal communications, you would
use a colon. When addressing a superior,
or someone in a leadership position in the workplace, it is best to be
formal. Thus, a colon would be needed
following the salutation.</span>
<span>
</span>
<span>3. </span>A. a writing about different facts,
people, events, or periods in history.
<span>Informational
texts do exactly as the name “informational” suggest—they provide unbiased
(non-persuasive), true and non-fictional information (facts) about people,
events, or periods in history. And, this
would generally be done in an order in accordance with the timeline of the
actual happenings.</span>
<span>4. </span>Email address of the sender.
<span>The “from” field in an email will show the email address from which the
email is coming. Thus, if one wants to
know email address the sender used to send the email, one would look in the “from”
field of the email.</span>
