Hello!
I don't find the paragraph to be too wordy at all. I don't understand the entire context of the paragraph, only because I don't know the topic that it is written on. Despite this, I was still able to follow the meaning of the paragraph.
Something that I did notice is that you have one run-on sentence in your paragraph. You wrote "The only thing they solved was why Hope was in that picture, she photobombed a family picture, they gave her the printed version because they deleted the original and didn't want her in it, she cut the family out and wrote on the back, 'Don't go to the subway.'"
Instead, you could reword it into multiple different sentences to make the idea complete. I would recommend you turn this section into: "The only thing they solved was why Hope was in that picture. She photobombed a family picture and they gave her the printed version because they deleted the original one and didn't want her in it. She cut the family out and wrote on the back, 'Don't go to the subway.'"
I hope this helps you! Have a lovely day!
- Mal
Both "Witness to the Tragedy" and "Hope Survives in Search for Katrina's Missing" portray the scenario that took place in cities affected by the violence of Hurricane Catrina. However, in "Witness to the Tragedy" we are presented with a more personal account. The article written in first person shows the destruction and sadness of families to survive during the violent flood that was established in the region. First-person language makes the story personal and exciting.
"Hope Survives in Search for Katrina's Missing", however, reports the search for people who were not rescued at the time of the tragedy, have been lost to their families and are being sought, alive or dead. Although this article has a less personal and emotional tone than the first, the article uses a first-person language that manages to bring the reader closer to the author and provide a strong empathy for the exposed theme.
Answer:
It's quite a big room, <u>isn</u><u>'</u><u>t</u><u> </u><u>it</u><u>?</u>
C. Support - 1. Contains examples and explanations that relate to the main ideas
b. Organization - 2. Uses paragraphs and has a beginning, middle and end
d. Convention - 4. Uses proper grammar, spelling and punctuation
a. Focus - 3. Addresses the assigned topic
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