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Eddi Din [679]
3 years ago
9

Please revise this!

English
1 answer:
RoseWind [281]3 years ago
7 0

Hello!

So let's start with paragraph 1.

You don't want to use "I believe or I feel" in an essay. You want to start strong. For example, you want to set the Context in a general way. (1-2 sentences). So you could somehow say, this is a controversial issue. You want to state the Importance. (2-3 sentences) You want to explain why the topic is important or why your reader/s should care about this issue. Then you want to state your Thesis. (1 sentence) You could easily say, Using controlled wildfires is a dangerous and destructive way to try to protect wild areas because... (Your three reasons.) That's that for paragraph 1.

Onto paragraph 2.

You want to start THIS paragraph with a transitional phrase. For example, first off. You want to introduce your first reason. (1 sentence) Then you want to cite and explain. (2 sentences) You want to do this so you can defend your argument. Then cite and explain again. (2 sentences) This is so you have two pieces of evidence to back up your reasoning. Then you want to conclude. But, when you conclude you want to use words such as, to conclude and thus. You also want to introduce your next reasoning. For example, Thus, using controlled wildfires is a dangerous and destructive way because ... but also because... Do you get what I'm saying? Anyway, You also want to use academic language. For example, you need to search for another word for help. You could easily search up, "another way to say help." MAKE SURE TO USE CREDIBLE SOURCES AND SEARCH UP WHO THE PERSON IS. You want to make sure the person writing this is credible. So you can say, A graduate of... with a masters degree of..., Jenny Green stated...

Onto paragraph 3.

For this one, you want to do the exact same thing as said in paragraph 2. You want to start with a transitional phrase, for example, additionally. You then want to introduce, cite, explain, cite, explain, then conclude. You want to go along with your thesis statement. You can end with thus or to conclude or to sum up. (make sure to introduce your next topic) MAKE SURE TO USE CREDIBLE SOURCES AND SEARCH UP WHO THE PERSON IS. You want to make sure the person writing this is credible. So you can say, A graduate of... with a masters degree of..., Jenny Green stated...

Paragraph 4.

Same thing as mentioned in the last 2 paragraphs. You want to use academic language and transitional phrases. For this one, you could start by using, Lastly or finally. This one you don't have to introduce your next topic since this is your last reason. MAKE SURE TO USE CREDIBLE SOURCES AND SEARCH UP WHO THE PERSON IS. You want to make sure the person writing this is credible. So you can say, A graduate of... with a masters degree of..., Jenny Green stated...

Lastly, paragraph 5.

For this one, you want to restate your topic and why it is important. (1 sentence). In a more <em>concise</em><em> </em>way than your intro. You could start by using the phrase, All in all, ... You want to then state your three reasons. Keep it short and concise. (1 sentence) Then if you would like, look for a quote to go along with your paragraph, Then make sure you add another sentence to add context.

I hope this helps! If u have any other questions or concerns, feel free to reach out. Have a great day! :)

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