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zloy xaker [14]
2 years ago
13

I'm writing a short story about a clown stalking a little girl, it's not finished but can anyone give me a suggestion on what to

change in the writing and maybe come up with an ending cause I'm having a bit of trouble.
In October of 2016, a twelve-year-old girl named Samantha lived in a suburban town, after school her friend invited her to a Halloween party later at night. She accepted her request but of course like every other kid, they had to get permission. She later came home and asked their parents if she could come to the party, short answer...no. Samantha tries to argue with them but, no luck. Later in the evening, Samantha was getting frustrated. Then she thought “I could sneak out of the house while mom and dad are sleeping.”, and so that’s what she did. A few hours later she started to get ready, wearing her witch costume. She quietly sneaks out of her room into the hallway, the wooden floor creaking. She gets to the front door, walks out of the house, and slowly shuts the door. She looked around, seeing the streets were completely empty. She began walking down the street, slowly realizing she didn't know where she was going. After about a few minutes she was completely lost: didn't know her way back home, nor which direction to take. The fear of being alone crept up to her. All of a sudden she hears a bit of laughter coming from behind her. She turns around, her eyes widening as she sees a tall man in a clown costume, looking at her with a sinister smile. Samantha didn't know what to do, she quickly started to walk away, the clown follows. She yells, "Back off creep!". She started running, so did the clown chasing after her. She yelled and screamed for help, nobody was around. She gets to a nearby park losing sight of the clown. She hides behind a tree not knowing what to do. She peeks around seeing him, wandering around looking for her. She was trembling in fear, being cold and alone. Then she heard sirens in the distance and the clown immediately runs away.
English
1 answer:
algol132 years ago
5 0
I think you should say “she accepted her invitation” instead of request. Maybe a little more background story? Unless you’re gonna make it into like a detective story where the short story makes a bigger picture. Maybe instead of her getting lost so soon, she meets up a friend, they both get lost, eventually meet the clown. You did great I like it so far, but its the little details that add that pizzaz. Ex: At that moment Samantha had realized her mistake, as she spent the time trick or treating the sky grew dark and ominous, a feeling like she had never felt before, true fear.
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