Question

Hi can someone plss help me checking my essay? (don't just say it is good ) I just wanted to know if it flows good and if Im giving a good explanation. (which I put 2 images of the question and the topic) (If there is something wrong or if I need to add please tell me!)

Answer 1

Answer:

indent your paragraphs, put your claim first and then restate your claim in the end- of your essay, every time you a topic explain it, state the info-where you got it from, give reasoning, evidence, don't add questions but if you must,- add symbols such as ( ) then do so,- it's choppy,- every time u add a different topic or smth put it in a different paragraph,- over all, I think it's good

Explanation: