He is planning the windmill
Palomar observatory is in California and also Hale telescope is there and it was once the largest telescope in the world.
Answer:
Order of ideas, tone, and punctuation and phrasing could be revised.
Explanation:
It is known that when giving a presentation or writing an essay, the speaker should convince the public little by little, providing evidence that will support the final hypothesis, in this case, how great Roosevelt was. Due to this, the beginning would be: "Theodore Roosevelt was a great president because..."
Punctuation and phrasing are other issues in the paragraph. Some sentences are too long and carry a lot of information that could be overwhelming for the reader (specially for such a short paragraph.) In example, the phrase "he brought about much-needed social, political, and economic reform" could be written again: "his impact could be seen in almost every aspect of the country, such as in politics, economics, and in society in general."
The first statement could be at the end, like "an equal share of opportunities. Due to this, Roosevelt is the greatest president."
Tone is also important because it seems to be part of an essay or a presentation, so words like "broke up" could be changed for more proper ones.
