Hope this isn't too late but here are some suggestions:
<em>Essay quote ~ </em><em>Suggested improvement</em>
<em>"Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness has been violated through different </em><em>literatures</em><em>
"</em>
"Pieces of literature, forms of literature".
<em>"One out of three shots fired</em><em>,</em><em> went through Malala's left eye socket"</em>
Unnecessary comma.
<em>"Malala's life was put in danger when an individual disagreed with her beliefs</em><em>, </em><em>and used violence as an option."</em>
Unnecessary comma - Do not place comma before 'and'.
<em>"For example</em><em>s</em><em> the Japanese Americans were forced </em><em>to go to </em><em>camp during war in 1942."</em>
<em>"</em>For instance, the Japanese Americans were forced into camps during the war in 1942."
<em>"Those asked to go</em><em>,</em><em> had no choice but to go to the camps."</em>
Unnecessary comma.
<em>"Within literature and history Liberty is violated."</em>
Add comma - "Within literature and history, Liberty is violated."
Those are all my suggestions, gl
