. Read the paragraph. I was born in 1992 in Chicago. I moved to New York City when I was 12. I published my first story in my sc
hool’s literary journal when I was a freshman. I am now the editor of the school newspaper. I want to study journalism when I am in college. What would be the most effective way to revise this paragraph?
The most effective way to revise this paragraph is to avoid beginning each sentence with the pronoun I.
Explanation:
Starting every sentence in this paragraph with the pronoun "I" does not make it flow like a real narrative it gives the impression of being just sentences together without cohesion, a good revision would be to add connectors to make the transition from line to line and make it work as a whole and unite idea.
This helps us to create and shape history because we can now record our makings much easier. Before you were limited to only pen or still photos of black and white. Now you can video record and take much higher quality pictures of this day.
Abraham lincoln did not want to end slavery but to preserve the union. he wanted every body to work together so the that the US will be number 1. he wanted to unify the north and the south
