Because they were non nonsensical <span />
Dear (blank),
I want you to know i deeply care about you and your health and with you eating so much junk food i thought it would be good to tel you a few things. Junk food leads to high Cholesterol levels high sugar levels and increases the rate of obesity. Obesity can also lead to multiple different health problems that are irreversible. please do start eating healthy.
A cold, moonlit night on the beach.
Because it gives details of where, when something takes place.
I can give a minute-by-minute summary of the local Hawaiian news.
I believe we have here an example of situational irony.
Irony is found in the contrast between expected outcomes and what actually happens. The narrator wanted to spend the time on the beach, not in the hotel room watching local TV. However, the reality was such that now the narrator "can give a minute-by-minute summary of the local Hawaiian news".
That's why I think this particular sentence matches the style of the passage.
Enforcing zoning regulations
