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MissTica
3 years ago
9

Can someone go over my essay and tell me what I can change to make it better. This is the assignment and I need to get it done.

I am desperate for help!!
School is a place where we should feel safe and free to focus on learning instead of worrying about a bully waiting for us when we get out of class. Teenage suicide has increased due to the constant fear and hopelessness that bullies cause. If bullies are held legally responsible for the direct cause of their constant abuse then perhaps they would think twice about their juvenile behavior.
Victims of bullying are not only hurt by the bully, but they might hurt themselves. People being bullied get a lot of stress and may become depressed and cause harm to themselves. So, this is one of the reasons why many people think that bullies should be help legally responsible for their actions. Victims of bullying feel that suicide is the only way out. There are many well-known stories of people taking their own lives. One that caught my attention was “The Unforgettable Amanda Todd Story.” Amanda Todd posted a video on YouTube holding flash cards, telling her story. Amanda has been abused, bullied, harassed, and stalked online and in person. She got into drugs and alcohol. She also started to cut herself because of the bullying. All it took was one picture, two words, and schools full of people. A man identified as Aydin C., was sentences to 10 years and 243 days in prison for online fraud and blackmail in relation to the abuse of 34 young men and woman. This is a real story, about a real girl, and a real arrest. Amanda Todd went through a lot before she decided to hang herself. Amanda Todd is one of the reasons why I believe that bullies should be legally held responsible for their actions.
When people hear the word “bully” they probably think of some kid threatening to beat you up if you don’t give them your lunch money. And sometimes that is true, but other times it is more than that. Victims of bullying sometimes come home with a black eye, or a broken arm. I would like to tell you more about Amanda Todd. She was bullied in more ways than you can think. Amanda starts the video by saying “I’ve decided to tell you my never-ending story”, this shows that the hate that was thrown her way follows her everywhere, even in the afterlife. After being cyberbullied, Amanda started cutting. A group of girls came to her school one day, threw her to the ground and punched her several times, then she went home and drank bleach. Amanda moved three times because she was afraid of the kids abusing her. After she got away from everyone, she was still cutting and overdosed. Towards the end of the video one of her flash cards said “I have nobody. I need someone” I believe that Amanda was just a regular girl trying to move on in her life, but she finally couldn’t take being unhappy anymore. Yes, I think that bullies should have some kind of legal consequence for the pain that they cause others.
Many people believe that bullies have no excuse for bullying. However, some people think differently. Some people believe that there is a reason why kids bully others. In most cases, kids who are bullied result in bullying others. Kids who are abused are also more liking to bully. Nearly 700,000 children are abused in the U.S. annually. So, some people do believe that bullies do have an excuse and should not have a legal consequence for their actions. But, I still believe that bullies have no excuse and should be held legally responsible for their actions. Bullies can physically and emotionally bully others. They can hurt others, and cause them to hurt themselves.
Some bullies can do worse than just taking your lunch money, they can drive others to take their own lives. There needs to be some kind of consequence for bullying. For example, if someone is using the internet to harass others, there account should be shut down. Or if a group of kids beat up someone, the group of kids should be expelled. Bullying needs to stop, and the only way to get rid of bullying is punish the bullies and make them understand what they did I wrong. Over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year. Approximately 160,000 teens skip school every day because of bullying. 17% of American student’s report being bullied 2 to 3 times a month or more within a school semester. The last number might look small, but even 1% is one to many kids being bullied. Whoever sees someone being bullied, cyberbullied, or attacked, it is there job to stop it.
English
2 answers:
Dovator [93]3 years ago
5 0

Answer:

Explanation:

Very nice. Some spelling errors.

kifflom [539]3 years ago
4 0
This is an amazing essay holy wow. I think that if you ended with a strong conclusion you can get an amazing score. Maybe end with something like "This is just a few reasons why bullying should have legal consequences" But other then that this is a fabulous essay.
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