Question

Damon is writing an essay evaluating Andrew Carnegie’s contributions to American society. Damon has done research on the topic and has arrived at his conclusion. He drafts the following thesis:
Andrew Carnegie’s contributions were mostly positive for America.
What might Damon’s teacher say about his thesis statement? How could he write a better thesis statement?

Answer 1

Answer:

Explanation:

Damon's teacher would might say that he would have to describe why his contributions were mostly positive, and what were some of the things that a little more negative. I would explain how Carnegie helped the American economy and what he did that wasn't so great. I would have also stated what the United States used to be like before Carnegie developed the steel industry.

Hope this helps also for those of you who need answers to the quiz here they are:

1) D. Patented the telephone

2) C. Large corporations could control the cycle......

3) A. Interstate Commerce Act

4) "Your hands are slippery, and your knife is slippery", and "And that would not be so bad, only for the deadly contagion."

5) D. The AFL only accepted skilled workers, while the KOL represented both skilled and unskilled laborers.

6) First one: Miners Second one: Ranchers Third one: Cowboys Fourth one: Farmers

7) B. illness and injury from poor working conditions

8) D. the change from allowing American Indians to hold on to their culture to making them adopt American culture

9) C. to escape racism and violence

10) A. ban certain cultural activities that were common in Hispanic communities

11) B. Hispanics were allowed to become American citizens, but the Chinese people were not able to become U.S. citizens.

12) A. present an argument to the reader

13) One of the most important factors that lead to rapid industrialization was the post-Civil War because this left the American South in shambles. This required rebuilding and put many Americans to work in factories. The second one was the increase of demands since the United States was increasing and expanding to the west more and more, railroads were needed to be built. Another reason why people were moving westward was because the population was increasing in the east. This was another reason why demands in goods was greater.

14) I believe the biggest conflict between the white settlers and tribal groups was that many of the American Indians were being forced to abide by American culture, such as religion, customs and tradition. They also disputed between the land in which belonged to the natives of the lands while American settlers were moving westward. Like what happened during "The Trail of Tears" this killed many Natives during the march. Andrew Jackson was clearing the land from Indians.

15) ^^^ posted above ;)

I just took the quiz so everything is correct. Copy short answers at own risk.

Answer 2

Damon's teacher might say that Damon's thesis is too vague. The thesis is the main idea that an essay discusses. It also refers to the position that the author takes on a particular subject. The author is meant to defend this position and try to convince the audience to support him.

In this case, the thesis that Damon has written is too vague. It does not address what contributions Carnegie made to America, nor does it explain why they were mostly positive.

What Damon could do to improve his thesis is make it more complex. Damon could add a little more information and make his claim more specific.