Please help i have posted this question 3 times' and no one ahs answered it please 30 points please help I really don't understa
nd can you please revise my paragraph and make it have no passive voice and change the Syntax (sentence structure). In the beginning, it all began with Ralph Baer in 1967 in Nashua, NH. In 1966, while working for Sanders Associates Inc., engineer Ralph Baer began to investigate how to play games on TV. And as a result of his investigations Brown Box was created. According to the G-Phoria Legend Award, “Baer is considered "the Father of Video Games due to his many contributions to games and helping to spark the video game industry in the latter half of the 20th century”. Little did we know this great invention would be in everyone's life today.
4/5 Coherence 5/15 Syntax (sentence structure) - highlight the changes made to the syntax 5/10 Voice (no passive voice) - highlight the changes made to the voice 5/15 Reflection Paragraph --Describe the specific revisions you made regarding SYNTAX and VOICE to demonstrate your understanding of those concepts. Explain how your changes improved the paragraph.
In the beginning, it all began with Ralph Baer in 1967 in Nashua, NH. In 1966, while working for Sanders Associates Inc., engineer Ralph Baer began to investigate how to play games on TV. (add examples of investigations, don't add too much cuz it is gonna get too wordy)And as a result of his investigations Brown Box was created. According to the G-Phoria Legend Award, “Baer is considered "the Father of Video Games due to his many contributions to games and helping to spark the video game industry in the latter half of the 20th century”. Little did we know this great invention would be in everyone's life today.
I would say you should tell the reader some of the investigations he made, possibly some examples.
The sensory details used to convey images in this excerpt are mainly to do with the grape vines and also the flowers. The grape vines are depicted as "brawny ropes of brown" which conjures up an image of thick strong sinews which spread all over the porch and around the windows and form frames around the windows in "thick bowers" and the flowers in "riotous glory" exhibit wonderful colours and with pleasing textures like the velvety nasturtiums.
