Answer: Yo I can't really help but for inspirational wording you need to be yourself and think of a good way to write
Explanation:
Three hundred four million nine hundred sixty seven thousand
In general you want to be a bit more concise in forming a thesis statement. Usually you should shoot for between 1 and 2 sentences summarizing your argument in a concise way so that it is easily understandable to the reader. I would take what you have written and look for your main argument and try and put that in 1 to 2 sentences.
The cause-and-effect structure helps the reader understand how specific people's decisions affected the spread of the fire.