The answer to number one is the rising action
The answer is that<em> by doing so he would violate the very customs Okonkwo is trying to preserve</em>, meaning that instead of being the bigger person he is becoming what he detests the most.
Another option would be that the use of violence would make him become the father he has always hated.
It seems like its (d), because when they removed the VNOs the mating was effected.
