Hello!
I don't find the paragraph to be too wordy at all. I don't understand the entire context of the paragraph, only because I don't know the topic that it is written on. Despite this, I was still able to follow the meaning of the paragraph.
Something that I did notice is that you have one run-on sentence in your paragraph. You wrote "The only thing they solved was why Hope was in that picture, she photobombed a family picture, they gave her the printed version because they deleted the original and didn't want her in it, she cut the family out and wrote on the back, 'Don't go to the subway.'"
Instead, you could reword it into multiple different sentences to make the idea complete. I would recommend you turn this section into: "The only thing they solved was why Hope was in that picture. She photobombed a family picture and they gave her the printed version because they deleted the original one and didn't want her in it. She cut the family out and wrote on the back, 'Don't go to the subway.'"
I hope this helps you! Have a lovely day!
- Mal
Music has been considered one of the most inspirational art forms, regardless of whether or not there are lyrics being sung. Music invokes emotions and inspires through wave frequencies.
D. progenitor
hint: "pro" means before
