Answer:
The paragraph gives a real-world example of a benefit found when students participated in music education. It reported the better rate of college attendance, and also included information about higher reading scores for students who study music / are actively engaged for 2 years.
Explanation:
The reported research results back up the claim of music influencing brain development.
For the first red, you don't need an article before "relationship".
When you're saying "type of [word]", do not put any article before that word.
Example: "a type of device"
Not too sure about the "your back" parts. It could be your teacher does not like repition.
Also not too sure about "did". He probably wanted you to use the word "felt" instead of "did feel"
The first word of the last paragraph should be "in" not "at".
The red commas definitely do not need to be there.
Don't know why he marked "time to" and "to" red.
Ate the insects I believe is the simple predicate in the sentence.
The outcome of a poorly written subject line would be that the reader wouldn't understand what he/she was reading about. This would in turn, keep the reader confused the rest of the literature and wouldn't be able to focus.
I don't know but I hear chapter 9 has pretty juicy info
