Question

I have a letter im making about the civil war is this good please tell me!

Answer 1

Answer:

Dear Mary,

The war has been tough, there has been many deaths. We are being stationed in Fort Wagner and our food is mostly meat and vegetables and fruit when in season. In my spare time I usually play instruments. The winter is very cold and the summers are very hot. The fighting was very hard, lots of people are injured. The medicine is very helpful, lots of the soldiers that got sick are healthy again.  The thing I miss from home is you.

Stay well love,

William

Explanation:

The letter has very good ideas. You just have a few spelling, capitals and punctuation mistakes. Above, I edited the letter with the mistakes in bold/underline.

Here is a summary of edits:

Spelling:

*vegitables => vegetables

*Im => in

*usaly => usually

*indured => injured

*heathly => healthy

Capitals:

*fort => Fort

Commas:

*The war has been tough,

*The fighting was very hard,

*The medicine is very helpful,

New sentences instead of pause:

*..... there has been many deaths.

*..... I usually play instruments.

*..... lots of people are injured.

Other:

*Find a new word for 'tough', maybe 'difficult'. At the time of the civil war (1860s), people usually did not use this word to mean hard.

*the summers are very hot. You were missing the verb 'to be'. Saying 'are' in this phrase is like saying 'is' for "the winter is very cold".

*I removed the 'And' in 'And the thing I miss from home is you'. You do not need it in this case. Also, you usually do not start a sentence with 'and.

*I also switched the last two sentences because it makes more sense to talk about missing Mary last.