Yes, for nearly 50 years as his widow she worked to preserve his papers, efforts to have his biography produced, accomplishments recognized and the statute bust of her husband preserved in her home. She referred to him as “my Hamilton” and she was the maybe last living member of that generation; she almost lived long enough to bridge the revolutionary war days with the War Between the States. Her work other than raising her many children after Hamilton’s death was to preserve his memory for the future ages. And she did build orphanages and other good deeds, just as you mentioned, Nadia.
I am adding to my reply for Nadia, a high schooler, who stepped up to the plate, and her reply is a well thought out….but I believed she may want and deserves some of the information that the “old-timers” have. (And I don’t have a granddaughter) Nadia, I pulled out several of my books about the Hamiltons.
I paged through them for Nadia. As a woman, in my thinking, the Hamiltons had two unimaginable events that stand out from all the challenges in their lives. It doesn’t matter which came first.
The Hamiltons, from what I have read, had a loving, gentle, and lasting marriage in spite of the “affair” Mr. Hamilton had during that hot summer in New York when his family was away north to enjoy a bit of coolness and he wanted to be with them. He appears to be caught between his love of his family and the love of his country. He felt a deep need to write many letters for the public press (without his name so the letters were read without any prejudice)
He was writing the need for a newly forming government “of the people, by the people and for the people” country and for new ideas and many other matters to educate and persuade the people of his “adopted country” to support a way of thinking our country should be. There were some very strongly opinionated, powerful people who did not agree with what was written in those letters to the press. The decisions on these matters would form the roots of our country’s government to grow and the time to make these decisions was coming.
The “affair” was a setup. None the less, it happened. Hamilton was alone and lonely and worn out by his work at writing so much. She was attractive, needy (at the time) and there is something called lust. That may be an excuse, but not the right thing to do in Hamilton’s life. It was not uncommon; the reason his affair did is for another question to ask for an answer.
Now, let's play with time and history. Hamilton’s first son Philip was a teenager asking for advice regarding what and how to handle a “duel” with a man in his 20s. The man was saying things about Hamilton and his son stood up to that man, etc….and it all foolishly led to a duel.
During the discussion between a worried father Hamilton and his son, Hamilton talked about ways perhaps ways to stop or handle the duel so no one is harmed. He mentions to his son, that his mother had dealt with one great emotional harm already, and he fears she could not bear another. Is that not love by Hamilton for both Eliza and his son? And also shows while Eliza was working on forgiveness, there was love. She was expecting her eighth and last child. A person can be forgiven, but some things are hard to forget.
Now let’s only take a tiny step forward in history. Philip died from his wound in the duel.
And there was no way to bring her Philip back.
The loss of her first child, while she was expecting her last. Nineteen old Phil was mentored by Hamilton on how to handle the duel. In those years of US history duels were not uncommon to settle “disputes” between “gentlemen” but it was not necessary to actually shoot one another. To save face, each could deliberately “throw their shots away.’ Apparently, Philip followed his father's advice, but contrary to local custom, his apparent opponent was not a “gentleman” and shot Philip.
I believe the loss of Philip was THE unimaginable loss to both Eliza and Alexander together as their son died hours later. I wonder how long it took for her forgiveness to Hamilton. And for Hamilton to forgive himself for not being able to do more to prevent the duel without his son being labeled a coward. Mature love is powerful, remarkable, and difficult to understand.