Read the rough draft of a student’s conclusion to an argumentative editorial. (1) Year-round schooling would help student achiev
ement. (2) Not so much information would have to be crammed into nine months. (3) Furthermore, the elimination of long breaks, particularly summer break, would significantly reduce "learning loss” and the additional time wasted at the beginning of each academic year to reteach previously learned material. (4) It is clear that year-round schooling helps students learn and retain more. (5) The United States is not the only country to experiment with a year-round school schedule. (6) Although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, these people need to open their eyes and see that students in these schools consistently score higher on certain assessments than students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars. (7) It is about time that we replaced our outdated and inefficient school calendars. Why should sentence 4 be removed from this conclusion?
<span>There
are a couple of reasons why Sentence 4 should be removed. First, the way the sentence reads is that of
a final sentence by the way it insinuates there is nothing left to say. Thus, when the next sentence begins with
additional information, it seems counter to the final/ending sentiment that Sentence
4 communicates. Additionally, the phrase
“It is clear” could be offensive to some readers because if it is clear, then
why did things need explaining to begin with. As such, some readers may feel insulted. It is for these two reasons that Sentence 4’s
omission would benefit this conclusion.</span>
