Question

Rewrite the sentences to eliminate wordiness and redundancy: “The balloon quickly rocketed up into the really cold air. We were scared and frightened because it was moving really fast. However, it was all good in the end.”

Answer 1

Answer:

The balloon rocketed up into the icy air. We were frightened because it was moving quickly. However, the balloon was completely safe in the end.

Explanation:

sample answer on edg 2020

Answer 2

The balloon rocketed into the sky.   Though we were frightened, everything ended up being fine.

• The word "quickly" can be removed because speed is implied with the word "rocketed"
• The phrase "into the really cold air" can be removed because it is irrelevant to what's happening.  It can be replaced by "into the sky"
• Now "up" can be removed because "into the sky" implies that the balloon went upwards.
• Either the word "scared" or "frightened" can be removed because they're synonyms (I chose to remove "scared")
• "Because it was moving really fast" can be removed because the use of the word "rocketed" beforehand already implies that the balloon was moving fast.
• Lastly , I just reworded and conjoined some of the sentences to make them read more clearly though this isn't necessary. (I changed the third sentence from "However, it was all good in the end," to "everything ended up being fine." I also combined the second and third sentences, adding "though" in front of the second sentence to make it a dependent clause)