A lot of descriptive imagery, excellent setting and sophisticated language. Use of punctuation is varied and concise which effectively engages the readers to continue reading.
One problem is sentence length. No examiner wants to mark your exam and immediately get hit in the face with a chunk of words. Separate your paragraphs individually.
Answer:
ummm go with cheer my guy
after the question is that the answer or yours?
The answer to this will be despairing