Answer: I tried help you out. In a lot of cases, you forgot to capitalize names. Instead of repeating "says" as well as "replies" try to use other words. My biggest tip would be to add more emotion by using rhetorical devices to your characters. You want them to be relatable. :)
Explanation:
Emma’s birthday is coming up this week and her best friend and her brother have been acting strange. Emma has been busy planning for her party for weeks. She wants it to be indoors, so she works on getting the house cleaned up for the party. She asks Shaila to come over and help her out so they can get the job done faster. Shaila comes over and the girls hang out for a bit.
“What’s your theme?”, asks Shaila.
“I’m not sure yet, I think I’m just going to just have a normal party”, replies Emma.
The girls agree that that’s a good idea and they get to work. Emma starts texting out invitations while Shaila makes sure that they have enough tables and chairs. Emma notices that Shaila didn't finish counting but is nowhere to be found. As Emma is still planning her party, Shaila is working on a big prank that she and Josh planned.
“Did you get everything ?”, Shaila asks.
“yea”, Josh replies with a shrug.
“Okay, so when are you going to put everything into place,” she asks.
“Well I was thinking that I could set it up while Emma is sleeping, and if you tell her you are sleeping over you can help me get it done faster,” Josh explains.
“Great! id-" Shaila gets cut off as Emma walks into the room.
“There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere” Emma exclaims with a smile.
“Oh, sorry I was just saying hi to Josh. I also thought it was a good idea to ask if he knows of anyone else, we need to invite.” Shaila saves with
“Ok let’s go get back to work,” the girls say in sync
The girls go back downstairs and start decorating the house. Hey Shaila I’m going to order the cake, says Emma. Okay, I’ll be here, replies Shaila.
Hours later...
“We should probably go to bed now”, Shaila says.
“ok” Emma replies.
Once Emma is fast asleep Shaila quietly gets up and walks out of the room. Josh has already gotten all of the old house décors down from the attic. They start to unpack all of the stuff and put it into place where it used to be.
An hour or so later, they are finished, and all the new décor is up in the attic
Wow, it looks the way it used to”, Josh whispers.
"That’s the point”, Shaila sarcastically replies
After that, they both heads back to bed
Emma wakes up extra early that morning because her cake is coming, and she needs to put up the final decorations before the guests arrive. She goes to grab her checklist that she left next to the pink flowers last night. When she gets there, she realizes that the pink flowers are not there. Instead, her list is next to a candle. She talks a look around her house and realizes that the house looks just like it did last year… see sees a paper on the couch. Its Josh’s list of decorations he needs to replace. She realized that he was trying to pull a prank on her, so she decides that she is going to get him back much better. The rest of the day at the party she decides to act like nothing even happened and like she hasn’t noticed…