In almost all forms of literary work, especially fiction, the character that represents the hero is almost always asked to rise about adversity in someway and fight for principles. 
        
                    
             
        
        
        
A counterargument is an argument or set of reasons put forward to oppose an idea or theory developed in another argument.
        
             
        
        
        
I believe that the message the author is trying to convey in this excerpt is that humans need to take action to end further destruction of the natural environment, because if they don't, more and more species will disappear. 
        
                    
             
        
        
        
For the first red, you don't need an article before "relationship".
When you're saying "type of [word]", do not put any article before that word.
Example: "a type of device"
Not too sure about the "your back" parts. It could be your teacher does not like repition.
Also not too sure about "did". He probably wanted you to use the word "felt" instead of "did feel"
The first word of the last paragraph should be "in" not "at".
The red commas definitely do not need to be there.
Don't know why he marked "time to" and "to" red.