Answer: Your essay sounds pretty great! The only thing that I would change is that in essays such as these evidence to support your claim should come after your claim. For example you might start your third paragraph with something like " Another reason I think I would be suitable for this position is that I can give current relevant advice," and then add in your supporting claim of why you can give relevant advice. This simply just makes your claims sound stronger and your more likely to get a higher grade but overall a great essay!
